So let's not get carried (away with everything). Away with the process (from here to in-between). of elimination (the long goodbye). I don't want to waste your time. Tell me that you're alright, Yeah everything is alright. Oh please tell me that you're alright, Yeah everything is alright.

Happy Halloween Everyone :)

You Leave A Bad Taste In My Mouth So Spit It Out, So Spit It Out

Well, I feel like its been a while since my last blog but I'm not 100%. Anyways I'm still dating my boyfriend, which is a good sign because that obviously means it's going really good. So that part of my life is going really well. I can't have everything in my life going well at once though. So, of course I just in super huge trouble today because of my grades. Well lets just say I am doing a lot better then I thought I was doing in most of my classes. Then there was one class I'm taking that's like super hard, AP Stats, and I have a F. Lol. I fail. So I'm probably going to drop out of that class, which I'm totally okay with. It was way to hard for me anyways. I'm a re re. Another poopy thing, basketball starts in two days. We have tryouts on Halloween. How lame is that? I'm definitely not looking forward to basketball at all, what so ever. And last, but not least, I hardly ever talk to my best friend anymore and we NEVER hang out anymore. It like honestly seems like he could care less too. I've really been trying to keep in touch with him, and I've been trying to plan a day to hang. It never works out with him though and it's getting really annoying. Like I understand there's a girl that you like right now, but you can't forget about the other people that care about you. I have a boyfriend now but I'm still busting my fucking balls to hang with you. It's pissing me off. I helped you through so much and I tried so damn hard to make you a better person (even though none of it worked) and now I feel like I barely know you. I don't know why I'm even complaining about it on here, it's not like you're going to read it anyways. You never write blogs anymore. You never try hanging with me anymore. You never text me unless I text you first. Like seriously, what the fuck? I don't know, it's annoying.

Does this make me hipster?

You Are Oxygen

Yay! We have no hot water! I fucking love my life! Just kidding my life has been pretty damn amazing lately. This is just a really bad morning but hopefully it will get better. Okay, so yeah, there's no hot water. That means I can't take a shower because I am sure not taking an ice cold shower this morning. And that also means I now have a bunch of time in the morning that I could be doing homework or getting more sleep with but i decided to write a blog instead. Seems like a good choice to me. Oh and by the way, since i can't shower, I'm washing myself with rags.... Doesn't get much hotter than that. The things I have to deal with sometimes people can only imagine dealing with lol. I could easily say the same about myself only imagining what it's like to deal with something. I've always wished i could experience all the hardship people went through. I feel like it would  make me such a strong person, but it would probably really fuck with my head too. On the other hard though! Everything has been going quite great for me lately. I've been getting so much closer to my boyfriend and I'm starting to really fall for him. That scares me though because I've never fallen for someone as fast as I fell for him. We've only been dating for almost two months and he already means the world to me, and I'd do anything for him. I don't know why I fell for him so fast, but I'm hoping it's because of something good; like he's just perfect for me, or we're like really meant to be together. He makes me so happy, it's not even funny. He's the first person in a long time that has been able to truly make me happy. I really don't know how he does it. Anyways, I'm going to wash myself with a rag....

You make me happy, whether you know it or not. We should be happy, that's what I said from the start. I am so happy, knowing you are the one that I'll love for the rest of my days.

Babe you truly are amazing. You might not have the best of manners, you might not be able to pay for me (or yourself lol), you might think about yourself to much sometimes, and you might not realize that some of the things you do hurt me. You're not perfect, you're really far from it. But you're amazing. I saw a side of you today that I haven't seen before. You got angry and you started throwing things. I didn't like it one bit and I knew if I wasn't there you would have done worse. So I held you and you told me I was making it worse and that you didn't want me to hold you. That hurt so much. I couldn't keep the tears back no matter how hard I tried. I understand things are very hard for you and you do have problems with your anger. I made a mistake today by trying to get you to stop by holding you. I should have given you space, I learned my lesson. I know you learned your lesson as well. It scared me seeing you get angry like that, and you saw that when you saw me crying. The things you said hurt me so much and I know you felt bad for saying what you said. I know you didn't mean it either, people say things they don't mean when they're angry. Even though you didn't say it, I know you wanted to take back what you said. You felt terrible, I saw it. And when you saw me crying all you did was hold me and tell me that all you want to do is hold me and you were sorry. I tried so hard to act like I was okay but I can't hide it around you. You knew I was hurt. And you made it better. I don't know how you did it, but you did. You're definitely something special. You're not perfect, but you're perfect for me. You treat me like a princesses. You hold me and kiss me. You would do anything to make me smile. You're quite good at making me smile too. I've gotten so much closer to you than anyone ever before in such a short time. You open up to me so easily and you are so good at making me feel safe enough to open up to you. My feelings for you grew quite large in such a short time. Even though its only been a little over a month, I would truly be lost and upset if we broke up. I fell for you so much faster then anyone before. I don't know what it is about you. Like I said before, you're special. You're beyond amazing too. I'm crazy for you babe. ♥ 

And I feel like wasting my days, And I can't see what's coming on, And I can't say it will all be fine. And I can't help thinking we grew up too fast, No I can't help thinking we grew up too fast. And I know, I know, I know this won't last, a second longer than it has.

I never feel good enough for you. I feel like you should have someone so much better than me. I really don't know why you like me at all. I'm no fun. You always seem to have more fun hanging out with your other friends, and tell me how you have the best nights of you life with them. When you tell me that it makes me want to cry because I can't give you the best night of your life. I don't understand why you want anything to do with me. I'm not a good girlfriend. I'm boring, uninteresting, out of shape, a mess, I have no friends, I don't make you happy, I'm not good for anything. I feel so useless to you sometimes. I'm usually just pretty useless to everyone. I don't know what to do. I cry at night, I don't feel like I mean anything to you. I don't know how much longer this will last. I'm so confused and I always feel hurt. I like you so much and you make me so happy. But I'm not good enough for you </3