I've been in Florida for a week. Longest week ever. We are leaving tomorrow morning though, thank god. I'm not sure I'm that excited about going back either. I don't want to deal with things at home. I can't avoid them though, so I just have to deal with it. What doesn't kill you, only makes you stronger. Right? I just hope everything doesn't get so bad where it does kill me. Since it is the end of my trip I have reflected upon it and have decided that it wasn't as bad as I was making it seem. I actually want to stay and not go home. There's to much stress at home. I mean there's been stress here, but it's been family related which I'm used to and can deal with. I was able to finish reading The Glass Castle. I really loved the book and I really didn't want it to end. All things eventually come to an end though, which I think is kind of sad. It's a good thing too, I guess. I wouldn't mind living here in Florida for awhile, a fresh start. I'm used to having to make new friends, so I can deal with that. I know that will never happen though. I'm okay with that. Starting over would be really nice though.
So I've been really wanting a boyfriend lately. I'm not a hundred percent why yet. It could be because I feel lonely sometimes, I just love having a person like that there for me, I love hanging out with someone that makes me so happy and knows me well, I love kissing haha, I love knowing that the other person is happy to be with me. I don't know, it's most likely all of those. Sadly enough though, I have some things getting in my way of finding someone I really like. Most guys just want to get with me and then there's something else but I can't really say. Just something sort of getting in way, which I'm hoping will go away soon. Even though these things can really get to me sometimes, I try really hard to stay strong and positive through all of it. I'll find someone sooner or later!
It all ends tonight.
Things I dislike:
Liars, fakers, scums, bees, well any bug actually, drama, my ex, negative people, complainers, people that do stupid things because they think it will make them cool, history, english (the class), spanish (class & language), homework considering I hardly do it, horney guys that just want to get with me (so like almost all guys), Brookfield & Riverside, basketball, losing people I care about, my dad, not being able to learn how to live on my own, stupid girls, people that control themselves with alchol, boring books, just stupid people in general (this includes wayyy to many people), seeing people get hurt, being used, my lack of money, the fact that I can't get a job because my dad won't let me, my lack of motivation sometimes, when I'm negative about anything, weed, smelling like cigerettes even though I don't smoke, that you can't find cute and nice boys anymore, I'm messy sometimes, I'm an emotional mess, when I really want to watch a certain movie but I can't, the fact that my best friend really really likes me, how guys just want to get with me (oh wait, I've already said that....), how there's only junk food in my house, not working out for a long period of time, realizing I have no chance with someone I like (happens more than you an even imagine), wanting to get to know someone better but you can't, being cold, when I'm in bitchy moods, how I can be very awkward sometimes, I fall for guys easily (this is a very bad problem of mine, but I think it's getting better), when I have to act like I don't care about something but I really do, when I have to hide my true feelings about something, when someone asks me what I'm thinking. There's plenty more I'm sure, but I can't stay on the computer any longer. Haha this is a very long list. Oh well. I just felt like doing a dislike list since I did a like list in my first blog.
Night!
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